Initially, I didn't want to rate this movie this low. It narrowly escapes being boring - and while you probably won't exit the cinema out of boredom, that's where my compliments end.

What is really insufferable about this movie is that the faux-heroism (nearing on propaganda) it dishes out is so insanely outrageous, that it tops every Top Gun film in the franchise, which is a feat in it of its own. The stakes completely evaporate, since its glaringly obvious what the outcome of every scene is. Want proof?

Our main character goes on a literal suicide mission with his team. 80% of the movie is spent establishing it is the most dangerous mission of his career and that nobody will probably live to tell the tale of its success, if there even is one. The film goes into extraordinary detail to meticulously describe the myriad of ways our characters are well and truly done for. They have no hope of survival if they even make the slightest mistake, it is almost laughable. Obviously, slight mistakes happen during the mission. Tom Cruise and Miles Teller crash their fighter jets on a mountain and steal an enemy jet from their base to get back to safety. Oh, also Tom Cruise gets shot at and chased, on foot, by an enemy chopper that seems to largely miss him with its rain of lead. Good use of taxpayer money right there.

What is undeniably laughable though is that nobody in the team even gets injured, much less die. Nobody. The people making this must have noticed and they killed another character due to cancer, perhaps in an attempt to avoid everything being completely picture perfect. Even this loss though might seem a bit shoehorned in, to add a dramatic and sentimental effect to an otherwise barren wasteland of a movie.

There is also other elements: a generic and bland romance, a bad child actor and the cheesy crew bonding scenes, that lack the original's appeal completely. Everything is done is the most predictable and mundane way possible. Nothing is new or refreshing here.

Overall, even if you are biased and nostalgic of the old Top Gun movies, you cannot tell me that this is not a blatant, soulless cash grab. Obviously, I did not expect nor want Citizen Kane out of this. But even for a light hearted summer movie, it just seems the and the adrenaline just are not there this time.